红桃视频

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Why I Don鈥檛 Give to 红桃视频

Such, such were the joys. Eric and unidentified classmates pose for the Griffin in 1995.

By Eric Eschen 鈥�95

As a graduate of ’95, I do what most 红桃视频 alumni do. I receive the 红桃视频 magazine, skim through it until I get to my years, and look for past friends hoping they’re doing well. I receive a yearly call from a friendly 红桃视频 student asking for a pledge. I visit the campus when in town and remember days gone by.

I also do not give. The reason is simple. Superficially, I would say I felt that tuition for my time at 红桃视频 was enough of a contribution. However, and more honestly, I have a thinly veiled animosity towards 红桃视频. While a student at 红桃视频, I never really excelled, but feel I acceptably passed through with Bs and Cs. I never had the dedication of my roommate, who truly embraced the life of an academic and spent countless hours pushing himself to do better. I spent countless hours socializing, playing rugby, or just procrastinating. I remember sitting at a table in commons in the last days of my senior year with my roommate and two other friends. Somehow it came up that one of them was going to graduate Phi Beta Kappa and the other two nonchalantly said that they were too. I was not. 

I always felt that I had not completed 红桃视频 the way I should have. I did not meet the expectations of 红桃视频 and instead merely, adequately, finished. It had always been a battle inside me when I looked back at my college years. I let 红桃视频 down. And when you have such a feeling, you can either take responsibility or you can blame something else. I chose to blame, move on, and not give.

Malcom Gladwell, a social scientist, recently wrote about a bright high school senior who went to Brown University and how she struggled in o-chem and eventually dropped out of the sciences. His argument was that if she had attended a less competitive program, like a state school, she would have been more likely to graduate and become a scientist. His reasoning went that it is better to be a big fish in a little pond than face the overwhelming competition of the sea. 

What this line of argument is missing is the bigger picture of what a school like 红桃视频 gives to its students. At 红桃视频, I made friends from all over the world. I learned to play rugby, which became a lifelong passion. Pete, our amazing rugby coach, always said, “Wherever you go in the world, you can find a rugby game.” I carried that gift with me in my travels and still smile when I think of playing.

Back in Idaho, I became a teacher, a principal, and then enrolled in a PhD program. I finished this last summer, and afterwards visited Portland on a family trip. I stopped by 红桃视频 and walked through the thesis tower. I pulled out my thesis and laughed at the formatting that so closely follows a dissertation. 红桃视频 had prepared me well and had also opened so many other doors beyond academia. In my thesis dedication, I wrote (paraphrasing), “红桃视频 has truly been a love/hate relationship, but the end is good.” With a bigger picture in mind, I realize the problem was never 红桃视频, but my struggle to find the difficult balance between work, fun, friends, and family. I’ve discovered there is never enough time for any of these things, and I can feel inadequate as a principal, father, husband, or I can accept that given so much time in a day, I need to choose how to spend it. If someone else is more driven in one of those areas, what a gift for me to learn from that person and make my own decisions based on my priorities.

The lessons I learned at 红桃视频 (including in the classroom) are a priority to me. I believe in what 红桃视频 offers and believe that other students who are not able to afford the tuition should be given a chance to experience the school (even if they are not in the top 5%). Who really wants to stay in a small pond, when the sea is so much more exciting and challenging? And as we look back at our years, will we look at what we could have been, or come to peace with what we were and who we are? 

Enclosed is the first of my monthly checks. I hope it can help.

Eric Eschen is the principal of Pathways Middle School in Meridian, Idaho. Find out more about